So here I am again, I’ve been asked by several people when I was gonna post a new blog, so I guess I should write something huh.

But see here in lies the problem, I never know what to write about. I mean what would be interesting to the people who visit this half done site? I could talk about the difficulties I’ve been having lately, well difficulties I think many people are having. The economy is horrible right now with predictions of it getting far worst before it gets any better. We have a new President, who I know isn’t a miracle worker, but he still gives me Hope that things are going to get somewhat better. But as for the here and now, things are in a frightening state. I feel the worst for my kids, they cant understand why we had to move out of our house or why they cant have certain things or why we cant go and do the things we use to do a few years back.

I am finding life with my first child, although hard at times was also so much easier. I mean first of all I didn’t have his father involved at all, so if I wanted to move I could move. I could raise him the way I wanted and expose him to so much culture. It was a wonderful time when it was just him and I.  I’m finding life is a lot harder when you have children with a father who on occasion wants to be here for them. Because in these hard times, I’ve been asked to move out of State by several family members, because there is work where they are, but it would be a constant Court Battle with my Ex Husband.  He doesn’t care that life would be easier for our children and myself, it’s not even like he sees the kids a lot, 8 hours a week with next to no over nights. It’s a very frustrating thing.  But it is another thing that makes me long for the, shall I say the good old days.

I am dreaming of the day things will be like they were before I had all the troubles that come with an ex husband or more so with having children with an ex husband.  My spirit hasn’t been broken to the point where I think things will never get better, but it is very battered & bruised. The first step is getting my feet back on the ground, regaining that independence, then I know thing’s will fall into place. When that day happens I will be such a better Mother to my children and a better person all around. I’ll be able to show my two younger children the mom their older brother had, the mom who didn’t worry & cry so much, the mom who knew everything would be alright, just because I had faith that it would be.

I’ve had this post sitting here for weeks now, trying to figure out how to end it.  But after rereading it today I think I will just end it where I did.  I’m sure there’s more I could add, but we’ll just save that for another post I think.